hope

I want to have hope, and I do have hope that Colin will completely recover from this illness. It is very confusing for me how long the meds. should be continued, if I can trust what the psychiatrist says, if the meds. are toxic for him, and if the meds. will make it less likely for him to recover.

I am scared of giving them to him, and scared of not giving them to him. I don't know what to do at all. There are so many wildly different opinions on this subject. But after what I have been through when Colin was at his worst, I am terrified of that happening again.

What is this illness? Is it a result of trauma, is it a brain chemistry inbalance, is it a reaction to a sick society?

I just want my son to be healthy and happy. I don't care about what kind of job he gets or any of those other so-called measures of success. I just want him to feel peaceful.